I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
