it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
