I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Im part way to drunk.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
