holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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