yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
