Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Is it penis luge time yet?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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