He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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