At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
