Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
