What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
