matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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