Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
