You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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