I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
