I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
