in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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