this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
