You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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