Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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