Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
