when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
