Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize