belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
