Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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