Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
