Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Panties = found
Randomize
