So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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