What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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