The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
