Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize