shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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