ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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