Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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