what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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