I think my fart just growled at me.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize