i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
