I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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