Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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