listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
