He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
