I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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