Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
