I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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