11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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