Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
