Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
