CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
