Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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