Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
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You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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