You're so nebulous sometimes
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
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slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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