dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Randomize
