Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
