and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
