I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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