Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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