what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
