At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
