I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
