Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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