I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
