She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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