she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
