I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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