And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
