Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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